Saturday, March 17, 2007

Shoes Photo Special #1 : SKEGGI

As a thanks to our loyal fans, The Shoes have decided to release a series of photo specials over the next few weeks. Today we kick things off with our own beloved guitarist -- Skeggi!

The final photo may not be appropriate for children under the age of 60.

Thursday, February 15, 2007

Shoe FAQ!

Some fans have been e-mailing The Shoes with desperate questions of untold importance. Answers from the band themselves!

Q: Who are The Shoes?
A: The Shoes are the hottest new band out of Sweden. We are the best band in the world.

Q: Do The Shoes really play their own instruments?
A: Yes. Several years ago there was rumor circulating around the US, claiming that we do not play our own intsruments. More specifically, the rumor stated that Sergei and Skeggi do not know how to play drums or guitar, respectively. The rumor is absolutely untrue. We do indeed play them. It is our belief that the rumor was started by our rival band, The Wreck, in response to a certain snake/tourbus practical joke played on them during our joint European tour in 2003.

Q: What do you do when you aren't totally rocking out?
A: Check back soon for day-to-day schedules, provided by each individual band member.

Q: What's the deal with Sergei's quote on the 2003 promo booklet? Flamethrowers?
A: We'd also like to know. Sergei's pyromania is becoming a concern.

Q: What about Sven's quote? What is he trying to keep "on the downlow"?
A: We could tell you, but we'd have to kill you.

Q: If you are rivals with The Wreck, why did you tour with them?
A: Our rivalry is of the friendly kind, you know, the snake/tourbus kind.

Q: What do the Swedish words in the 2003 promo booklet mean?
A: Good question! It's encouraging to hear our fans being curious about The Shoes' native language. Sko = shoe, tunga = tongue, skosnöre = shoelace, gummisula = rubber sole.

Q: What have you got against hobbits?
A: Nothing, because they don't exist. But if they did exist, well...we don't take kindly to shoeless little bastards.

Q: Will one of The Shoes be my boyfriend or girlfriend?
A: Sven: Are you or are you not over 15 years old?
Sergei: Are you or are you not under 15 years old?
Skeggi: Send a picture.

Q: Sergei, what is it like being the only girl in the band?
A: Flaming.

Q: What are your last names?
A: It doesn't matter, you can't pronounce them.

Q: It's hard to believe that the sexiest band out of Europe has never done it with each other. Do you guys ever get together and ... you know... ?
A: Sven: No.
Sergei: Never.
Skeggi: Sometimes.

Q: How many shoes do The shoes own?
A: 1247.

Q: How can my band join Skosnöre Records?
A: Send us a picture, a tape, and a bio. We'll talk.

Prelude to Resurrection! Get to know your Shoes.

The Shoes are the hottest new band out of Sweden. They are the best band in the world.

There are three Shoes altogether:

Skeggi! Guitarist. Skeggi is the youngest member of the group. He usually designs cover art for the bands' albums and EPs, which explains the album art's unusual abundance of jellyfish. Lives off of coffee, aspires to marry Bjork, licks EZ-Cheez off of other boys.

Sven! Bassist. Sven is the calmest member of the group. He usually sleeps through rehearsal. When not sleeping, Sven can be found watching some crappy show called "Entourage" and attempting to make what may or may not be frozen margaritas.

Sergei! Drummer. Sergei is not only the oldest, but also the only female Shoe. She has a strange affinity for flamethrowers, particularly in conjunction with rocking out. It is common to find Sergei buying impractical groceries, drinking Sven's maybe-margaritas, and writing down everything you say.